Lust or Love

Walking around the yard, being out in the open, always makes me feel better. I just need to be away for a few minutes to gather my thoughts properly.

“Cassidy, hurry up! You said ten minutes,” Carter, my annoying twin, says from the bottom of the tree I'm currently in.

“Yes, ten minutes of alone time, not for anyone to follow me,” I say back in a bit of a sassy tone.

“You don't have to be such a smartxxx. I'm just letting you know we have to be there in one hour or our xxx is grxxx,” he replies, walking away.

“I know, I know. I just don't know if I can do this,” I say softly to myself, struggling not to cry.

My dad is getting remarried in two weeks. Today, they are having this big family dinner, almost like a rehearsal to make sure everything goes smoothly on their big day.

Honestly, I'm happy for him, but it just hurts seeing him with another woman who isn't my mother.

I've known Tess for such a short time. She's great, but I don't truly know her. I know she makes my daddy happy, without a doubt.

She goes above and beyond to try to make us as comfortable as possible as well.

It's just, eight months doesn't seem like a long enough time to want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Especially since she hasn't even met Lily or Ashton.

I guess that will change today though since they both just made it in.

“Cassidyyyyyy, come on! Dad will be xxxxxx if we are late, plus I'm ready to get my drink on,” Ashton yells from the back porch, walking toward the garage.

Uh oh. He is already getting pissy and he hasn't even been here a full three hours.

I giggle to myself, knowing I've already spent more time than I should have out here. I hike my dress up and jump down. Thankfully, it doesn't tear.

I smooth down my glittery silver gown that hugs my body like a second skin.

“Coming, dude, chill out!” I step inside my side of our quiet home to grab my clutch and a pair of flats for later, just in case.

“By the way, where is Lily? I haven't seen her yet.” I ask my older brother, knowing he and Carter are just ready to see what's on the menu for the night.

I jump in the back seat of Ashton's red and black trimmed 2018 Jeep Wrangler. Why I couldn't take my own vehicle was beyond me. I guess I'll end up having to be their drunk xxxxx' DD tonight.

“Lily will be there shortly. She got a room at the Red Rose Hotel because she brought a date this time.” Ashton smirks, after taking off flying to get to the civic center where the dinner will be held.

“Okay. Do y'all know who he is?” I ask while taking some Chapstick out of my clutch to apply it to my dry lips.

“Nah, we don't, but I'm pretty sure it's a girl and not a dude.” Carter starts laughing.

Since high school, Carter just goes on and on about how Lily will end up with a girl. It's not my cup of tea, but as long xxxhe is happy, that's all I care about.

“No xxxx, man. I bet it's a girl too. Little sis just better not outshine me with the ladies tonight,” Ashton replies back.

“Sooo, on to another topic instead of our sister's love interest. Ashton, how was the trip back home? Meet any cute girls from Stokes?” I ask since I know my brother is the notorious playboy who can't ever settle down.

“Oh, so we can talk about my love interest but not Lily's? But naw, them girls up there aren't women I'd ever settle down with. Just a hump and dump kinda thing!” Ashton replies, doing a fist bump with Carter while laughing.

“Well, you ain't getting any younger. I mean, you'll be twenty-six in two months,” I tell him while trying to steer clear of hitting one of his buttons.

I know he doesn't care to talk about his “first love.” She did him pretty xxxx dirty sleeping with our cousin.

Funny thing is, neither one knew about each other until we had a family gathering one day. When she got there, all the good deets came out that day.

Talk about family drama. That day, Ashton was trying to kill Cole. Worst of all, Abby ran after Cole, since then, I haven't heard from either one of 'em.

I hope they don't come today, but seeing as how all the family is invited, I reckon they will be there.

“Well yeah, I may not be getting any younger, but the ladies still want this.” Ashton points toward his body.

“Ugh, please stop talking now,” I say, leaning my head on the window.

So you see, my brothers are a bit out there.

Let me introduce Ashton, twenty-five, the adventure type, will literally sleep with any girl that he thinks is a good lay, and loves his own privacy. That's why he moved out so early.

Then Carter, twenty-one, my twin, the fun-loving laid-back one who starts random conversations with just about anyone who's willing to talk but loves the ladies just as much.

How they ended up like that, I have no clue. I guess I understand Ashton's point of view since he got xxxxxx over by dumb blonde Abby.

Carter on the other hand just won't settle down. He needs to “weigh his choices” as he calls it.

As for Lily, she's twenty-four. She is a very, very outgoing, wild, party type with a rude mouth, who lives for xxxx like that.

Well, as for me, haha, I'm just a homebody who hates being around a bunch of people. I love the smell of books, big T-shirts, coffee, and I have a smart mouth to go along with it.

About fifteen minutes later we pull up and I swear there are over two hundred cars here.

“Holy xxxx! Who are all these people?” I ask while my hands start shaking a little.

“Probably just a bunch of Dad's buddies and their families. You know Dad knows a lot of people, especially since his business has been skyrocketing,” Carter says while getting out of the vehicle, smoothing the crinkles out of his dark blue button-up.

“Yes, I guess you're right.” I sigh, stepping out of the Jeep.

“Brothers, do I look okay?” I ask both of the guys, knowing they will tell me the truth.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, sis, you look all right.”

They speak at the same time.

Oh well. Ain't like I'm going to be a social butterfly anyway.

The boys walk ahead of me, smiling and already shaking hands with men I've never even met.

“I heard you were back in town, but I couldn't believe it unless I saw it myself.”

Ladies and gentlemen, here is Grayson Smith I see walking up with a very beautiful girl on his arm.

Ashton and Grayson were always the best of friends all through high school, up until Ashton up and left to Stokes after what happened with Abby. Which was two and a half years ago.

He is a fine piece of man but ain't got xxxx on his younger brother, Nathaniel.

Growing up with brothers, their friends would stay the night often. My young xxx, along with Lily and her friends, would get to drool over them, but Nate?

Black hair, light almost electric green eyes, standing about six foot two with a stocky build. Good Lord, he truly is a girl's wet dream. Well, mine anyway.

Whoa whoa. I need to stop thinking like that. As if Nate would even look my way. He probably isn't even here tonight. I mentally start laughing at myself.

“Yeah, well, had to come support the old man and give my blessings. Depending on how things go, I might just come back home for good,” Ashton tells him while giving him a bro hug.

“xxxx yeah. If you need any help finding a place, let me know and I'll get you set up,” Grayson says while they all walk in.

I'm just sitting out here, looking like a lost duck, so I step in. Oh xxxx, there is a bunch of people. My hands start to shake worse, but in all honesty, it's gorgeous. Tess really did a great job.

She's got fairy lights all over with a big sign that says, “Come welcome the soon-to-be bride to the Gold family.”

Ugh, that sounds tacky, but this is their spotlight, no need to ruin it by saying anything.

There are flakes of gold everywhere. It's really nice, with soft touches of silver, white and gold done to the rug I'm standing on. It does make it feel warm and soft in here.

I walk over to the wet bar, making sure to keep my head down. I'm not fond of stuff like this. I knew it was a bad idea for me to come. I wish Dad would've told me all these people would be here.

“I'll have a Long Island ice tea, please?” I request from the bartender as I take a seat on a stool.

“Nice try, but you look a little too young, dear,” he says in a snarky kind of way, all the while still looking me up and down.

“Ugh, come on! I'm twenty-one. Do I really need to show my ID? Hey! My eyes are up here, dude.”

What is wrong with this guy? He is basically drooling looking at my xxxxx. I look down to make sure nothing is falling out, and nope, all is tucked in and good.

“Yeah, dear, Imma need to see that ID and I can't help myself when such a sexy girl is standing in front me,” he says in a raspy tone.

This guy can't be serious. He is literally around the same age as Ashton, maybe even older and he is acting like a complete perv.

“You do realize who you are speaking to like that, don't you? Bartender,” the voice behind me snaps at the pervert. Ohhh… I know that voice, I think to myself as it sends shivers up my spine.