I Was A Bitch - Book cover

I Was A Bitch

Emily Ruben

Chapter 2: So, These Two Perfect-Looking Girls Were My Best Friends!

“Can I see her now, Ms. Jones?”

This voice…I knew this voice. I rubbed my eyes with my fingers, not wanting to touch the needles on the back of my hands, and I heard a squeal.

“Lacey! You’re awake, bitch! You fucking scared us, you idiot!”

Wow. I blinked rapidly, confusion settling back comfortably in my brain to enjoy the show. The two girls standing over me were drop-dead gorgeous.

I’m talking perfect hair, flawless makeup, latest fashion clothes…even their nails were polished perfectly. What the hell were they doing in my room, calling me bitch and looking concerned at me?

“Um, hey…” I mumbled.

“Can I have some water?”

My throat still felt super dry. I drank the whole cup the blonde girl had handed me and sighed with relief after that. Oh well, the feeling of relief only lasted a millisecond but it was nice.

“Gosh, Lacey, I hope you haven’t seen yourself or you would have fallen back into a coma!” the other girl, the brunette, exclaimed.

“Shut up, Mel!” The other girl elbowed her.

“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

Had they shaved my head?

Did I lose something in the accident?

“Tell her, Claire!” The girl named Mel pushed her.

“You just…you haven’t got any makeup on and your hair looks like a bird’s nest,” the girl whose name was Claire whispered like she was saying a bad word.

I almost laughed but she looked dead serious. Oh wow, it seemed really important. Should I act concerned? Sad? God, I was so clueless!

“But being the best friends we are, we brought you a makeup bag with all the essentials and Mel is going to take care of your hair so that you feel like yourself again!” Claire finished cheerfully.

Okay. So these two perfect-looking girls were my best friends? Again: wow. What had happened?

I didn’t know if I was supposed to tell them about my memory being missing in some parts or that my parents, who felt like strangers to me, seemed to think I was eighteen when I was pretty sure I was only sixteen.

“Thanks, guys, that’s…awesome,” I said, trying to put on my best smile.

Claire was looking at me a little freaked out then turned her gaze to an equally frightened Mel.

“What?” I asked, trying not to sound too rude.

“Nothing. You just seem…different,” Mel pointed out. “I mean, I guess a two months’ coma can do that to someone…”

I tried laughing but it sounded fake and my throat was still scratchy.

“Anyway, makeup time, babe!” Claire cheered to shift from the awkward tension. “We’re going to make you look fabulous for Derek!”

This Derek again. Who was he? Why didn’t I have the slightest clue as to what he looked like or what he was to me?

I guessed he must be sort of a crush since my two best friends thought it was important for me to look “fabulous” for him. I wanted to ask them but then again something in my guts made me feel like it wouldn’t be a good idea.

So I kept my mouth shut and played along, faking my excitement at the idea of a makeover when all I wanted was news from the doctor on my state and answers to the other thousand questions swimming in my mess of a brain.

“Naked 1, 2, or 3?” Claire asked, looking through a makeup bag.

I had no clue what they were talking about. Naked? Why would I want that? She raised her eyes, expecting an answer.

“Pick whichever one you like, I’ll let you be in control,” I said, feeling like this might be the right answer.

Well, maybe not since she once again looked at me with wide eyes, then back at Mel, who was biting her lip.

What again? What had I said? Claire faked a smile and took out a little palette from the makeup bag. On it was written “Naked 1.” Oh! I felt like such an idiot. I wanted to face-palm myself.

“Good choice,” I approved, faking a smile.

She returned a fake smile of her own and—God was this situation awkward.

“Man, you look like you came back from the dead!” Mel exclaimed as Claire was removing things on my face with a wipe.

“Yeah, being in a coma would do that to someone,” I replied, using her own joke against her.

She smiled—this time genuinely—and sat next to me.

She then proceeded to comb my hair and I couldn’t retain the little screams escaping my lips when she was pulling on the knots that had formed in the past two months. This lasted for an entire hour and a half.

Claire was very focused on the makeup while Mel was putting all her strength toward making my “bird’s nest” look presentable.

During this time, they would chit-chat about people I didn’t know, or about Derek, though I finally got an answer when Claire exclaimed, “Gosh, you guys are such a cute couple!”

So…this Derek guy was my boyfriend.

That was…new. I had only had one boyfriend in my sixteen years of life and that was Joshua, but it didn’t last. We didn’t have anything in common and we broke up after a month.

“Okay, result time!” Mel exclaimed.

“You look like your old self babe, a.k.a. fantabulous!” Claire added, clapping her hands with excitement.

This drop-dead gorgeous girl thought I, Lacey Amanda Jones, looked fantabulous! What kind of world had I landed in!

Claire took out a mirror from the makeup bag and counted to three ceremonially before putting it in front of my face.

And so I screamed.

Next chapter

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