Desperation

MINA

I knew I had lost weight; what few clothes I had were too big, but it wasn’t that I really had much that I could afford to lose. Most of the time, my daily meal was nothing more than a bag of chips. I kept my water bottle with me and refilled it as often as I could.

It was a nice autumn day. I was sitting on the bench, listening to the sounds of children playing.

I remembered when Mom and I used to come here when I was a kid. The swings were my favorite. She’d sit and watch me swing for hours, having to force me to stop when it was time to go home.

Now, I sat there and watched people walk by, wishing I was like them, walking to or from work, or just enjoying the day with their family. I brushed a tear away.

Noticing the time, I quickly headed to the bathroom so I could wash up for the night.

I had used the last of my soap two days before. What the park had wasn’t horrible, but it was doing a number on my hair.

At some point, they figured out I was sleeping in there and now they locked it up every night at dark. I was forced to sleep on a bench. I had picked one that’s far away so people won’t see me.

It was starting to get colder at night, and my tattered old blanket didn’t do much in terms of warmth. I had given my better one to a kind old gentleman that didn’t have one.

It felt like I had been living out there for years, when it’s only been a couple of months. I had even celebrated my nineteenth birthday. Well, I wouldn’t really call it celebrating; I ate a banana.

The thought of living outside in the winter scared me. I had tried a women’s shelter across town, but I wasn’t a victim of domestic violence nor did I have children, so I couldn’t stay. I refused to go back to the other one.

My senses had been on high alert ever since the shelter incident; every sound and movement got my attention. I saw people walking past me and I kept my head down, glancing back to make sure they didn’t turn around and start following me.

Finally, I made it to my bench for the night. I checked my bag again just to be sure I didn’t leave anything in the bathroom. Pulling my tattered blanket out, I lay down for another terrible night.

***

Once again, I cleaned up as best I could, put on my dress, and went out looking for a job. Nobody wanted to hire me, not that it was much of a surprise. Feeling my frustration rising, I sat down for a few minutes. Staring at my last two dollars, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get anything to eat, but I could at least get a cup of hot coffee.

Sighing as I realized that in a matter of hours, I’d be totally broke, a man sat down next to me. Glancing at him, his Armani suit with his muscles straining underneath, and his shiny black shoes. His hair dark, falling slightly into his piercing green eyes. He looked very attractive.

“It’s getting colder,” he said, pulling me from my thoughts. “Don’t you have a jacket, young lady?”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded my head and gripped my bag tighter.

He turned to look at me. “How long have you been living in the park?”

“Wh-what makes you think I’m homeless?”

He looked me up and down. “Your dress is too big for you, you have holes in your shoes, and your bag has seen better days.” He pointed at my hands. “And the way you’re clenching that money, you’re afraid you’ll lose it. When was the last time you had a decent meal?”

“I’m fine.” Although, honestly, I can’t remember the last time I ate something decent.

I stood up to leave.

“Come on, let’s get you a meal, a hot shower, and a decent bed.”

“I’m not going to a shelter and I don’t need your charity.”

He held out his hand to me. “It’s not charity. It’s a deal.”

His eyes were kind, but I was still worried about the cold. I knew I wouldn’t survive out there much longer. “What kind of deal?”

He pulled me onto my feet by the hand.

“We’ll discuss the details later,” he said. “But first, come.”

He led me to his car. A black Bentley with a plush black leather interior.

As he drove us out of the City, I realized that if he were to kill me and dump my body all the way out here, no one would even notice I was gone.

“Where are we going?” Fear evident in my voice.

He laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you. I could’ve done that back at the park.” He glanced over and smiled. “We’re going to my house.”

I clung to my bag and did my best to hide my fear, questioning why I had even gotten into the car with this man in the first place. This wasn’t something I would’ve normally done, but I guess when you have nothing to lose, it changes things.

I watched as the city sank further and further beneath the horizon.