Always You

SAVANNAH

The clock’s ticking loudly. I move my neck from side to side and rub the back of it with my hand. I look back at the clock, a little startled at the time I see.

It’s close to 10 p.m.

I sigh loudly.

I honestly thought I’d be finished work by now, but my job has never been easy.

I own my own business. I opened a small store I love dearly. I started it a year ago. It’s a clothing store and not that big. I mainly sell maternity clothing for women.

You would be pretty surprised how successful it has been. The clothes are not expensive, and I also sell essentials for women, such as baby clothes, prams, and even some toys.

I also ask for feedback on the store and what they would like to see inside. I try to aim to please everyone.

A few nights a week, I usually stay late to do some paperwork and order new stock. I am currently trying to finish some invoices.

I can’t help but sigh out loud and lean back in my chair.

My eyes roam my desk and land on a photo of my three best friends and me.

I can’t help but smile at it.

There in the photo is Elijah, Megan, Alex, and me. We all have been friends throughout high school and college. The picture is of Megan and Alex’s wedding.

I was Megan’s maid of honor, and Elijah was Alex’s best man.

Since junior school, Megan has been my best friend, and she is one of the most caring friends you could ever meet. She and Alex are high school sweethearts.

They started dating in the last year of high school and have never broken up. Alex and Elijah are best friends and are never apart, just like Megan and me.

Elijah and I never dated, but I had the biggest crush on him and probably still do. I always thought he never liked me like that. He is the most handsome guy you’ll ever meet.

He always has girls around him and has probably never been single. He’s always got someone on the go.

I never told him how I felt as he never gave me a reason to. I would take the odd glances when people weren’t looking and social media stalk him.

I kept my secret crush to myself, but I have a funny feeling Megan knows and never lets on.

We all go out once a month. Well, we used to until I broke up with my ex six months ago. I know he currently has a girlfriend called Ruby, who seems to hate me.

I never let my feelings for him get involved, knowing nothing would happen between us.

Having your own business makes your partner cheat.

I was with Danny for three years. He was great when I started my business, but Danny took more steps back once I got busier with the store.

I caught him with a girl in our bed, in the home we shared.

I remember walking in and hearing a lot of moaning. I know the sounds; I wasn’t that stupid. I went upstairs quietly and the door was ajar.

When I looked in, Danny was lying on the bed with the girl straddling him, riding him hard. I never got a good look at the girl’s face, but I know she had a butterfly tattoo on her lower back.

I remember staring back with the realization of the whole situation. The funniest thing was, I never cried or acted on it. I was looking for an excuse to leave, and I had found it.

I remember quietly walking down the stairs and through the door. I walked back to my car and went in the direction of the nearby beach.

I sat there most of the night. I didn’t go back home. I waited until I knew Danny had left for work.

I packed up my car and moved into the tiny flat above the store, which I thought I would use as my open-plan office, but I made it into my little home instead.

Once inside, I packed up my things. I didn’t have much, and I did it all myself.

I never told anyone what happened between Danny and me.

I remember Danny asking why I left him, and I told him I was done with us, but I never let on that I knew he cheated on me. I knew he wasn’t the one.

Danny didn’t take it very well. He thought I would be his meal ticket, that I would work while he stayed home and spent my money.

Danny never had a job when I was with him. He had another think coming if he thought I was going to support him.

I knew he wasn’t the one as I never wanted to be with him. The funniest thing was he told everyone that I cheated on him—what a joke!

I always thought I would leave, but I think I got stuck. All my friends liked him, but everyone believed him when they realized we had broken up. He played a good game.

Megan and Alex didn’t know what to believe. They never bothered asking me, but on a night out, I started to get snide remarks from Alex about being a cheater.

You will never find someone who will trust you.

After that night out, I avoided going out with them all. Elijah was the same as Alex; he even befriended Danny too. His girlfriend Ruby told him that he should never be friends with a cheater.

I haven’t been out with my friends for six months. I have seen Megan only in the last few days, but I haven’t seen Alex or Elijah since that night.

Meg has been trying to get me to come out, which I have point-blank refused.

I haven’t had sex in six months. I never thought I would miss it, but I am. I even bought a whole load of new amazing toys, but I miss the real thing.

I shake my head, trying to get out of my thoughts.

My phone lets out a ping, which sounds loud against the walls of my small flat.

I grab my phone. A message from Meg:

I can’t help but laugh at the message.

I was on the phone with Meg last night for an hour, and she never mentioned going out at all. But I know why she rang me last night as Alex was at the gym.

She never rings when he is around, or if I hear him, I always make an excuse to get off the phone quickly.

It sounds childish, and I’m not that kind of person, but I saw Alex in a different light after that night out.

I never thought he would side with someone he only knew for two years over someone he had known for fifteen years.

When I moved into the small flat above the shop, no one knew where I had moved. I know Elijah doesn’t know, but Meg found out last month when she saw me in the store as I was closing up.

She might have told Alex.

I stare back at the message and try to determine whether I should agree to go out or not.

I haven’t had a night out in so long. I sigh, but I look toward the closet where the little black dress I bought two days ago in the sale is hanging up.

I never buy clothes for nights out, but this dress stood out, and I wanted to wear it.

I might as well. As long as it is just the two of us, I won’t mind.

I start to type the message back to her. I know it doesn’t sound good, but I think I need a girls’ night more than anything. Once the message is typed up, I push send:

I move back from my chair and walk over to the window with my phone in my hand.

It is pitch-black outside and raining. I love the rain; the sound always sends me to sleep.

A ping ripples through the small flat. I open my phone and read the message Meg sent. I can’t help but smile.

I quickly type a reply, agreeing to the time, and move away from the window to my bed. But I stop and look at my desk.

I know the invoices need to be finished, but I did do half of them. I might even get Claudia to do them tomorrow.

Claudia, who works through the week and is pregnant. I have two staff members. And there is also Molly, a seventeen-year-old who works on Saturdays.

Deciding to leave the invoices for Claudia to do tomorrow, I slowly get myself ready for bed. I head into my tiny bathroom and dress in my PJs. Once I’ve brushed my hair and teeth, I climb into bed.

Once in bed, I sit up for a moment. I have two days before my night out with Meg as it’s a Wednesday.

I am looking forward to it.

I set my alarm for early the next day as I need to open the store up early and set up everything for the day.

I can’t help but yawn.

I lean back on the pillow, but as soon as my head is on the pillow, I drift off to sleep.