The Highlands Wolves

LAIKA

“I don’t think you should go to him,” Carolyn Clarke said as I descended the stairs in my short black dress. I was dressed to impress. Her words brought me to a halt, her face pinched, and I knew that I would find whatever came out of her mouth next very unpleasant.

I searched her face, looking for what, exactly? I didn’t know, and when I thought she would continue, she remained quiet.

“And why is that?” I asked, watching her small frame on the cream-colored couch.

“He found his mate, and she’s here with him,” she said, her eyes boring into mine.

My body went numb as my brain tried to make sense of what she said. Found his mate? And this so-called mate was here with him?

“Laika,” she called out, but the will to answer her left me.

The numbness began to fade as pain took over. My mind took me back to the woods those many, many years ago, to when he—

Shaking my head, I banished the thought. Now wasn’t the time to add to the growing pain in the pit of my stomach. It would only drive me insane.

“Talk to me,” she said, but I refused. My throat was dry, my mind scrambled. To be rejected by my mate and now to be rejected by my lover. The pain was just plain cruel.

“I’ll be outside.” My feet moved down the stairs, but Carolyn was standing at the bottom, blocking my way.

“No, you will stay here tonight.”

“Why?” I asked. Of course, I knew what she was thinking, and that broke my heart.

Did she really think I would hurt Lyall’s mate? Yes, I had some anger issues, but I knew how to manage them well enough. Lyall finding his mate was a blessing, which made me wonder why the pack wasn’t celebrating.

Did they really think so little of me? Did they think that I would lose control and hurt her? Was that why they had been keeping this quiet?

“We don’t want you to hurt her,” she choked out.

I raised an eyebrow. It hurt to see the amount of trust they had in me, or, more accurately, the lack of it. Carolyn was the mother I never had, and her doubt in me cut deeply.

“It’s just for a walk,” I said.

She seemed unsure, and I used her moment of distraction to sidestep her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to my back.

“It’s fine,” I replied without turning to look at her. My feet carried me outside to the cold air. The world was bathed in a pale glow, the sky clear, the moon alone in the sky, just like I was here on Earth.

Taking in a deep breath, I soon found out that doing that hurt too. My rib cage wasn’t cut out for the job anymore.

I climbed down the porch and started moving toward the woods—it was the only place I knew I would find solace. Even the strength to shift left me long ago. Why did I lie to myself that I was strong?

Lyall spent the past month in the Western Province, and he avoided me when he returned earlier this week. I did my best to give him space, thinking he would eventually make his way to me. But no, he remained silent, only for me to find out about his mate from his mother.

Maybe he thought I was too much of a weakling to stomach the news. Yes, it hurt, but I would never deny him a chance at happiness. We found pleasure in each other, but now he was tied to someone else. I was happy for him, but even still, it stung a lot.

The woods became dense, the smell of wildflowers spicing the air. Night creatures called out to each other, their noises a melody that I would normally enjoy under any other circumstance.

Life was just bitter—when you thought all was well, boom, it started crumbling to pieces.

Feeling I couldn’t go on anymore, I sat on a tree trunk, resting my worn-out body. Closing my eyes, I thought about how my life was going to go from now on. How would I fill the void in my chest? How long would this pain last?

I loved Lyall, and I would always love him. Lyall was the one person who never judged me, who never cringed when he saw my scars. Who helped me be a better version of myself.

Now he was gone, and again I was alone, a woman lost and with nothing.

I brought my knees up to my chest and placed my head on their rounded tops. I stayed in that position until I heard someone navigating their way through the trees. There was no need to look and see who it was. The air carried his sweet scent toward me. My wolf purred until I told her to shut up. She needed to understand that he wasn’t ours anymore.

“I thought I would find you here.”

My head snapped up as he sat next to me. I didn’t like the closeness. It was soliciting things that I shouldn’t feel for him anymore.

“So, you thought I would kill your mate?” I thought it best to rip the bandage off.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes on me.

“Fifth time I’m hearing sorry today.” Randall had said sorry three times at the training center, each for knocking me off my feet, then it had been Lyall’s mother, now Lyall.

“I know I’m aggressive, but that’s not the kind of pain I would cause. It’s my wish to see you happy in life. Whether I’m the cause of it or not doesn’t matter,” I said.

He pursed his lips. After some minutes, he broke the silence. “I know you love me. When we started our relationship, it was all about sex, finding release with each other. When I found her, I knew it would cause you pain, but I didn’t want you to hurt.”

“That’s my problem,” I told him. All these years, I knew he never loved me; he was in it for the sex, nothing more. “I needed to hear this from you, not from your mother, and not when I was coming to see you.”

“I was wrong, and I apologize for sending my mother. But you see, I’m the coward here. I loved you…I love you, but I was too much of a jerk to say the words.”

Anger surged through me. How dare he? “You don’t have to lie to ease my pain, Lyall.” My hands folded into fists. I wanted to punch something to ease my mounting frustration.

“I knew you would say that. You will always hold a special place in my heart, always.”

I looked at him then, his hard beautiful features softening in the evening light. He was telling the truth—he really loved me, but it was all in the past. Now his heart belonged to another, the heart that at some point was mine, but I never knew.

“Damn you,” I whispered.

“Indeed,” he replied with a hint of laughter in his voice.

“What is she like?”

“Cheerful,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s all?”

“Yeah, that word explains her,” he said, and I had the sense that he was smiling.

“Not beautiful?”

“She is, but you know looks don’t mean that much to me.”

“Yeah, I would know about that.” When people called me ugly, he was the only one who thought I was beautiful.

“You’re not ugly, Laika,” he said, his voice laced with concern.

“I know, all thanks to you.”

“Would you like to meet her?” he asked.

I thought about it, but I couldn’t, not right now. My emotions were riding high, and I feared I would say something to her that I would later regret.

But I knew I couldn’t hold off forever. “Tomorrow at breakfast, now that I know you won’t hide her anymore,” I said.

“It’s settled then,” he said, getting to his feet. “I understand you wish to be alone, so I will take my leave.” He looked down at me. He was someone who was so close to me once, but now he felt like an indistinct echo.

“Take care,” I said, and he left without another word.

Gosh, it was funny how things turned from perfect to a complete disaster. For years, I prayed to the Mother Goddess to send me someone of my own. Not a second-chance mate, there was nothing of that sort. I wanted someone to cherish me forever. How much longer would she make me wait?