Mateo Santiago

JUNIPER

“Wait, can we talk about this first?” I squeaked, my heart in my throat.

“What?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“It’s just I barely know you. Maybe we should get to know each other first.”

“Of course, that’s why we’re here. How else would we get to know each other?”

My jaw almost hit the floor.

Was this how people got to know each other? Had I been cooped up with my grandmother for too long?

I felt my face burning as I looked at Royce.

“Juniper?” He sounded concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I’ve never…” I stammered, looking for the words. I drew circles into the bed sheets with my finger, staring at the hardwood floors. “Done it before.”

Silence.

The room was heavy with it.

I dared a look up to Royce’s face and saw that his eyes were wide, a look of shock etched onto his features.

“Royce?”

My voice broke the spell. He started laughing, the bed shaking underneath him.

“What?” I demanded, indignant. Was it that much of a shock?

“Juniper, that’s not what I brought you here for,” he said after a bout of laughter. “I just want to talk. Ask you something very important. Not that I don’t find you attractive.” He smiled at me, a tinge of pink to his cheeks.

“Oh.”

Oh.

June… Star’s voice was sympathetic, making it so much worse.

Kill me, Star. End it all right here.

I wanted to dig a very deep hole and crawl into it.

I sighed and looked at Royce, accepting my loss of face with as much dignity as I could.

“So, what did you want to ask me?”

He nodded, gathering his thoughts. The mirth drained from his eyes, and he stood up from the bed, facing away from me.

“I don’t have a family, Juniper. I didn’t have a pack until Dayton, your father, brought me and my brother in.”

He grew quiet, anxious. He paced the floor in front of me, nervously tapping his fingers against his leg.

“We were kids when our family was killed. Our whole pack, slaughtered. We were no names, insignificant.”

He paused suddenly, and the room was silent once more.

“I was supposed to be home that day, but I was running late.”

My heart broke. What would it be like to come home to everything and everyone you loved gone?

“Who did it?”

He shook his head, a sneer on his face. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out.”

“Then what brought you here?”

“Family, or what I hoped I could find of one. I discovered my brother had slipped away during the attack and had found refuge here. When your father discovered who and what I was, he welcomed me to the pack not long after your birthday. He decided I’d be fit to take over when I was old enough.”

“Why you?” I spluttered. “I mean—” Why could my father accept a stranger but not me, his daughter?

“I come from an alpha bloodline. My father led our pack, and it would have been passed on to me one day.”

He looked hesitant, or like he was struggling with what to say next. After pacing toward the window, Royce stopped. Staring outside, a dark look passed over what I could see of his face.

“I never wanted to be Alpha.”

I was shocked. “Why?”

“I was learning to accept it when my pack was wiped out. I didn’t want the responsibility, still don’t. I’m not cut out for it.”

I tried to imagine it. When I was younger, before my thirteenth birthday, I’d visualized myself as a leader. I imagined my pack coming to me, relying on me. I had enjoyed thinking and playing at it as a child. Now I thought of the pressure, the overwhelming feeling of helplessness.

It was suffocating to think about.

Royce jumped away from the window and sat next to me once more. A desperate look crossed his face.

“There’s a reason I was looking for you.” He grabbed my shoulders.

“Juniper, I want you to become the Alpha of Litmus. It’s your birthright. You should reclaim it.”

Moments passed as he sat next to me, waiting. I could only stare, my thoughts and emotions moving too quickly for me to keep up.

Say something, June.

Star. She was preening under the idea and all the compliments loaded behind his suggestion.

It was my birthright. For months after my grandfather was killed, I fantasized about taking my father down, replacing him, and receiving justice for the wrongs committed against me and my grandmother.

I thought about what it would be like for my father to accept that I could be the Alpha the pack needed. That he could love me.

Then reality came crashing in.

“I can’t.”

“Juniper—”

“No, Royce, I’m not Alpha material.”

I shrugged his hands off of my shoulders, shuffling away from him on the bed.

“You are, Juniper. Even if you can’t see it, I can.”

“I haven’t even shifted yet! No, there’s no way.”

“You’re stronger than any Alpha I know. You don’t need to shift to prove that.”

“You don’t even know me. You’re just trying to shove this responsibility on me, aren’t you?” I accused.

“Juniper, you’re special. I can feel it. Your powers… your Alpha blood. You can do it. I know you can.”

He was desperate, but why? Royce would make a good Alpha. He had his quirks, I’m sure, and I hadn’t known him long, but he was nice. Friendly. Responsible, if the state of his home was anything to go by.

Was he not confident enough?

Was he unsure of his abilities?

Was he unsure of the pack accepting him?

“You have strength too, the kind that packs want and look for in their Alphas,” I reassured him. “Not like me.”

“Your strength is different, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less. Please, June. Reclaim your position.”

I was already shaking my head as he spoke. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

He sighed heavily, disappointed, and put his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I better go. It was nice to meet you, Royce.”

I stood and slowly made my way toward the door. I don’t know why I hesitated, but if I was honest, I wanted him to try and stop me.

He didn’t.

***

JUNIPER

The person I saw was gone by the time I stepped out of the cabin. I could still make out their figure walking, hunched over, in the distance, down the only dirt road to this place. Their basket of vegetables sat tipped over next to a squash plant.

It was odd, unnerving, and I hurried home.

The walk back through the woods wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as before. Royce’s offer echoed in my head, but I stood by my decision.

I was not the Alpha that my father, my pack, needed.

I would never be.

You did the right thing, Star assured me.

I know.

He was right. We are strong enough, but this isn’t where we’re meant to be. Star’s words stung, leaving a dull ache behind. ~We’re meant for so much more.~

But when? Where? I’m tired, aren’t you? How do you know all of this?

Just a feeling, Star answered cryptically.

The clouds were still away at least, and the sun was shining. Nature moved around me, and walking through the woods, I realized how much I’d missed it. The smells, the sights, the peace. I knew Star craved it, as any wolf should.

We’ll be free soon, June.

Her words were a balm, and I wished desperately for them to be true.

As we neared home, something felt off. It had Star’s hackles raised, and my nerves so frayed that my hands shook uncontrollably.

I took a moment to scope out the backyard and the woods around me. My senses were pushed to their limits trying to find anything. I waited a few moments, but it was pointless.

I hesitated at the backdoor. I tried to sniff out anything that seemed off. Hear signs of an unwanted guest.

Nothing.

Careful, Star said. I could feel her growling, hackles raised.

I placed my hand on the doorknob, a sense of dread welling up in my chest. I opened the door and walked inside.

My heart stopped.

My body froze.

Everything stilled.

“Juniper, welcome back.”

My parents were here.

Father towered over my grandmother as she knelt on the floor, a pistol aimed at her head. The same pistol that he had used to kill my grandfather five years ago. I wondered if the same bullets were still loaded in that hateful weapon, if they’d sat there waiting for this day.

He looked just as cruel and menacing as he had back then.

Mother stood by his side, her expression as cold and indifferent as ever.

Before I knew it, I was crying. Begging.

“Dad.”

His face screwed up, like he was disgusted.

“Imagine my surprise when someone reported seeing someone who looked like my daughter”—he spat the word out—“traipsing through the woods.”

“Please, Dad. Don’t hurt her.”

I took a step toward them, but he snarled.

“I’m going to give you a choice. Leave or return with us to the cells.”

“I can’t leave.” I sputtered. Leaving would mean becoming a lone wolf. A rogue. Being a rogue without the ability to shift was a death sentence. But so were the cells.

It wasn’t a choice, not really.

He knew it, too, from the grim smile on his face. He’d won.

“Dayton—”

He smacked my grandmother across the face before she could finish. She whimpered but took the hit and stared her son down. The gun was pushed right up against her head, but my father turned back to me.

“What’s it going to be, June?”