Fighting Fate

ANNA

Anna blinked her heavy eyes open.

She looked around blearily, noting that she was lying on a bed that wasn’t her own with a white privacy curtain pulled around it.

She couldn’t see much but knew that this room was completely unfamiliar to her.

Anna looked down at her body, which was dressed in a thin cotton gown and covered in a soft white blanket.

She lifted an arm to rub her eyes and felt a pull. Looking down, she found an IV line taped to the crook of her arm.

The light above her bed was off, but on the other side of the curtains, she could see bright fluorescent lights. The stench of an abrasive cleaner seemed to fill the air.

Anna became aware of hushed voices speaking somewhere in the room.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, trying to make out the words, but her head started to ache with the effort.

She coughed, her throat feeling extremely dry and scratchy, and almost immediately, the voices fell silent.

The curtain right in front of the bed twitched, and a woman with black-framed glasses on the tip of her nose and a messy bun piled on top of her head poked her head through, smiling at Anna.

“Oh, good, you’re awake! Let me just notify Zach and then I’ll be right back to check on you, okay?”

She disappeared before Anna could answer, so she waited patiently for the woman to come back.

A few minutes later, the privacy curtain was pushed against the wall, revealing the rest of the room.

There were three other beds and various pieces of medical equipment placed around the room. Anna was clearly in the den infirmary.

The woman came into view as she stepped toward the side of Anna’s bed, dragging a blood pressure monitor behind her.

She was quite petite and dressed in white scrubs with a stethoscope hanging around her neck.

She smiled at Anna, lifting the blood pressure cuff, and asked, “Do you mind if I check your vitals?”

Anna responded by lifting her arm, which the woman efficiently wrapped the cuff around before pressing a button on the monitor.

While the healer waited for the blood pressure result, she picked up Anna’s other hand, pressing a heart monitor clip onto her index finger.

She wrote all the results down on a piece of paper that she tucked into a pocket on the front of her shirt before taking the cuff off and sitting in a seat placed next to the bed.

“I’m Natalie, head healer for the pack.” Natalie’s voice was kind.

Anna felt drawn to her. She wondered if that was a part of a healer’s talents.

“I’m sorry to be such a bother,” Anna murmured huskily before coughing, her voice feeling rough in her dry throat. “I don’t know what came over me.”

When she finished talking, Natalie stood and left momentarily, returning with a glass of water and a straw, which she held to Anna’s lips.

Anna gratefully sipped at the water.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Natalie said softly as she sat back down on a chair, putting the glass of water on a bedside table next to her chair. “You’ve been out for almost four days.”

“F-four days? Are you serious?!”

Natalie nodded her head, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees.

“Piper came and saw me not long after you were brought here. I hope you don’t mind, but she shared some parts of the conversation you had with her. She told me that you had never properly linked with Gray Wing…” Natalie trailed off as Anna nodded.

“That’s right. I was blocked or shielded in some way. I was never fully connected to the pack, but I had no idea it would be like that.”

“That’s the thing; it isn’t always like that.”

With her elbow still on her knee, Natalie lifted one hand up and tapped her index finger on her chin thoughtfully.

“While Silver River is a much larger pack, coming into the pack bond shouldn’t have affected you that much. However, Gray Wing shutting you out of the pack bond for so long meant that you were deprived of the full energy that every shifter needs to survive. You must have had a small connection to the pack. I know this because if you didn’t…” Natalie paused and took a deep breath, glancing at Anna carefully. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be alive right now.”

“You mean…what Gray Wing did, shutting me out like that…it could have k-killed me?”

Natalie nodded slowly, and Anna felt like her breath had been knocked out of her.

She had known that her family despised her, but she would have never guessed that their feelings ran deep enough to actually kill her.

Anna’s eyes began to burn, and she quickly sucked in her lips, biting down hard to distract herself.

She refused to shed a tear for people who had never loved her in the first place. Anna hated that this was hurting her so much.

“Anna, you’re going to be fine, okay? You transferred to us just in time because your body is completely worn down. That small trickle of energy kept you going, but once you became of age, you needed to be completely a part of a pack.”

“Why? And what happens to wolves who are not part of a pack or the pack bond?” Anna could feel her heart steadying, but her mind was still whirling, filled with conflicting emotions.

“There are wolves who survive, but their minds seem to be designed differently from the average shifter. They’re what we call lone wolves. A normal shifter, however, needs the energy that comes from the bond. The energy is a psychic connection that links the pack member to the alpha and, through them, every other member of the pack. Each member feeds energy into the connection so that there is enough for everyone and also for the young and vulnerable who don’t contribute as much to the bond. A wolf shifter who is deprived of the pack bond, as you were, or who doesn’t have a pack bond at all, will either die or turn feral.”

Natalie’s tone was matter-of-fact, but she watched Anna carefully, monitoring her reaction.

“So, I could have turned feral?”

Anna’s voice was small as she tried to understand everything that Natalie was telling her, aware that this was something she should have learned a long time ago.

“No.” Natalie reached over, her hand hovering as she waited for permission to touch Anna, who nodded stiffly.

The healer laid a comforting hand on Anna’s shoulder, squeezing softly.

“You were too far gone, Anna. I don’t think you would have survived long enough to turn feral.”

Anna looked down, clutching the white blanket covering her legs and twisting it between her fingers.

After a long moment, Natalie stood and smiled down at her patient.

“We’ll talk more about this later. Let’s get this out of your arm and get you cleaned up and dressed. Zach should be here any moment.”

She gripped Anna’s arm as she spoke, quickly ripping off the tape that held the IV in.

Anna flinched, but she couldn’t say whether it was from the pain or the mention of the alpha.

Once Natalie was finished, Anna slowly got out of the bed, feeling extremely weak.

By the time she had walked a few steps, however, she could feel her strength returning.

She was beginning to feel even stronger than she had, and Anna looked at Natalie questioningly, who seemed to know exactly what Anna was thinking.

“Now that our pack link is feeding you all the energy you were deprived of and then some, you will most likely be stronger and more able than before. That’s one of the reasons you were so swamped; your body couldn’t handle all the energy at once, and it shut down against the assault.”

Anna nodded, accepting the explanation before moving to the bathroom on the other side of the infirmary.

After showering, Anna changed into a plain black shirt and black cargo pants that Natalie had given her.

She brushed her teeth, grimacing as she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

There were dark shadows under her eyes and her skin was pale, almost sickly looking.

Anna ran her fingers through the wet strands of her hair, trying to untangle the knots before pulling it into a messy bun.

She finally returned to the other room, pausing to look around.

There were obviously no windows and no natural light of any kind. Anna began to feel claustrophobic.

She desperately wanted the fresh breeze on her face and to smell the trees and feel the grass underneath her feet.

Her throat tightening, Anna turned to the healer to mention how she was feeling. Natalie nodded in understanding.

“You need to go for a run, and you need to shift. It’s been six days since you arrived; have you shifted at all?”

Anna shook her head and watched as Natalie’s face tightened sternly.

“Our bodies need to shift; it’s essential to us. If you had been deprived of energy for as long as you say, it would have sapped your strength levels in both human and wolf form, and the wolf needs a lot more than the human ever will.

“This may have decreased your need to shift, but that is definitely not a good thing. The wolf and human are not separate entities… If we lose one, the other can’t survive. Right after you meet with Zach, go outside, okay? It will heal you more than anything else.”

Natalie smiled softly, trying to take the edge off her serious words and showing how concerned she was.

“Anna can go for a run now; I’ll accompany her.”

The deep voice seemed to fill every part of Anna’s soul, and she inhaled sharply, the scent of sandalwood and citrus overriding the rest of her senses.

Anna felt her heart beating sharply in her chest and was grateful the heart monitor was not on her.

She prayed that neither of the other shifters had sharp enough hearing to pick up on her fast heartbeat.

It was a silly hope, though, because if anyone had sharp enough senses to pick up a heartbeat, it would be an alpha or a healer.

“Hey, Zach, that was quick,” Natalie grinned at Zach. “I expected you to get waylaid all the way here.”

“I did.” Zach gave the healer a wry smile. “I told them I had something important to attend to, which I do. I was quite worried about our newest pack member.”

His bright blue eyes turned to look at Anna, the smile still on his lips.

She shivered, meeting his glance for a second before looking down at her feet.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing as it hit her again that not only had she passed out right in front of him but also in front of the entire pack. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Natalie has filled me in. Believe me, I have a few words I’d like to say to Blake Williams about how Gray Wing treated you, but I’ll save that for another day. Come. We’re under the healer’s orders to go for a run.”

His voice was grim and in contrast to the small smile he directed at Anna when she chanced a glance up at him.

Her eyes darted toward Natalie, seeking a way out of the current situation, but the healer only smiled encouragingly at Anna.

She was feeling way too vulnerable to go for a run with the alpha... Anna had never met anyone quite like him.

Power and authority exuded from him, filling the room and seeming to suck out the oxygen.

Zach turned and strode out of the room, obviously expecting Anna to follow him, so she quickly rushed after him.

When she caught up to him, she had to maintain a slow jog to keep up with his long legs.

After a minute, he glanced back at her flushed face and smiled wryly, shortening his strides.

“Sorry, I forget not everyone walks as fast as I do.” Anna shrugged her shoulders, looking down and focusing on where she was putting her feet.

Zach didn’t seem fazed by her silence, greeting each pack member that they passed on their way through the cave system.

They reached the steep incline leading to the cave entrance, and Zach stopped, waiting for Anna to go first.

She wondered if he did that because he thought she would trip or pass out as she went up and was thus preparing to catch her.

Anna inhaled deeply as she reached the top of the incline—without falling—and left the cave.

Her eyes closed as her lungs expanded, the air clearing her head.

The ventilation system in the cave was top of the line, but it honestly just could not beat the real deal.

Zach stood beside her quietly, and Anna could feel his gaze almost burning into her. After a moment, he shucked off his plain white shirt over his head.

Anna had grown up in a pack, so she knew full well the lack of modesty wolves had.

Clothes that weren’t removed would disintegrate during the shift, and replacing destroyed clothing quickly became an expensive business, so it was common practice to strip beforehand.

In fact, many pups spend their early years naked since their shifting is almost impossible to control until the age of five.

Anna tried to fill her mind with useless knowledge so that she could avoid focusing on the large male beside her, but eventually, her curious eyes glanced at him.

The first thing she saw was a broad chest that was as tan as his arms, showing that he spent a lot of time outside without a shirt on.

She noticed that his body was very well defined under a dusting of white, curling hair.

Anna’s eyes followed the hair as it gathered to create a narrow trail down over his abdominal muscles, past his belly button, and straight into the waistband of his blue jeans.

She gulped, watching his large hands reach for the button on his jeans.

Her whole body seemed frozen, even as she mentally yelled at herself to look away from the beautiful male, her eyes still fixed on his fingers…which hadn’t moved from the button.

Anna realized a long moment had passed and her eyes jerked upward, straight into bright blue ones.

Zach was completely still, staring back at her. As she watched, one eyebrow cocked up and a small smirk tilted the corner of his lips.

Wolf packs may lack modesty, but it didn’t quite extend to gawking at your alpha as he removed his clothes.

Anna felt her face flame, and she quickly turned on her heel and moved toward the boulder in the middle of the clearing, not stopping until Zach was hidden from view.

After a moment, she heard rustling and knew that Zach was removing the rest of his clothes.

She heard what sounded like an electric current, almost like buzzing.

It lasted for barely half a second, but Anna knew that the alpha had shifted.

Anna took a deep breath, her fingers clutching tightly at the hem of her shirt but not removing it yet as she closed her eyes and turned all her concentration inward, searching for her wolf.

She turned her thoughts toward shifting, imagining her bones breaking and extending, imagining fur growing out of her skin and her teeth elongating into fangs; she imagined her senses expanding and improving from what her human self could offer…

After more than a minute had passed, Anna opened her human eyes, her head hanging in disappointment and grief welling up in her body, making her feel almost strangled by it.

She took a large breath before turning and moving back toward where she had left Zach standing.

In his place stood an extremely large wolf.

His head was on a level with her shoulders, and the fur that covered his body was the same color as his human hair, except it was definitely closer to white than gray on the wolf.

His eyes were an even brighter blue in this form, and they were currently watching her questioningly.

Anna could only shake her head miserably, looking at the ground as she muttered, “I’m sorry.”

Her voice was very quiet, but she knew his ears would hear it.

“I tried. I haven’t been able to shift for very long. I don’t know if I’m even a wolf anymore.”

She felt her eyes burning but started when the wolf let out a snort. He padded over to her, his large body bumping against her leg.

Anna stumbled back at Zach’s unexpected action and grasped at the fur around his neck.

She knew that she should probably let go of him, but her hand seemed to have a mind of its own, moving further into the fur.

She began to feel comforted, and before she knew it, she had sunk to her knees next to the large wolf and wrapped both arms as far around him as she could.

A wet snout nuzzled into her shoulder, and Anna sighed.

Physical touch was so important for their kind, but her pack had never been physically affectionate with her.

“We will discuss the shifting later.”

Anna immediately pulled back and looked at Zach in shock, the voice in her head completely surreal.

Piercing blue eyes just stared back at her without blinking.

“Speaking like this is part of being a pack. You have missed a lot being a part of Gray Wing. For now, let’s walk as we are meant to.”

Anna nodded, still feeling completely unnerved by the voice echoing in her head that wasn’t her own.

She stood up but kept a hand tangled in Zach’s fur as he walked beside her. She stopped questioning why she felt so comforted by him.

All she knew was that she hadn’t felt so safe in a long time, and she wasn’t ready to let that go by thinking too hard about why it may be.

***

They walked steadily for around an hour, winding through trees and bushes.

Anna smiled every time she looked down at the wolf’s long legs matching her human stride. He looked almost comical.

Her hand stayed firmly entangled in Zach’s fur, and she was grateful that he hadn’t asked her to remove it.

After a while, they reached a break in the trees. Anna realized that they had reached the cliff she had been sitting on just five days ago.

Anna finally took her hand away from Zach’s fur and went to sit at the edge of the cliff, in the same spot she had been when she had met Mitch.

She heard the wolf moving just before feeling his solid weight lay down right behind her back.

She leaned back against him, and for a long time, they just sat there, neither of them saying anything.

Anna had so many questions, but as she looked out over the infinite world in front of her, she didn’t want to break the silence.

She thought about the tiny world she had left behind. The extent of what Gray Wing had done to her was a creeping realization, and it had left her confused.

If Gray Wing had been so intent on blocking her, not just out of the pack but out of the shifter world itself, why had the alpha, Blake, insisted that she transfer to Silver River?

“I’m wondering the same thing.”

Zach’s voice in her head startled Anna out of her thoughts. She looked at him over her shoulder. His eyes were closed, and his head was resting on his paws, his body completely still against her body.

“I believe that they intend to use you as a weapon.”

Anna frowned, turning her body so that she faced Zach completely and sitting up on her knees. He didn’t move or look at her.

“How can I be a weapon if I can’t even shift?” Anna felt her throat start to tighten once again, but she steeled herself against the tears.

She was already weak in the alpha’s eyes; she did not want to make it worse.

“I don’t think you’re weak,” Zach lifted his large head from his paws and turned to look at her.

“Although I will teach you to block your thoughts better. You’re broadcasting almost everything.”

It took a moment for his words to sink in, but when they did, Anna gasped and felt her cheeks start to burn again.

This must be a record number of blushes for one day.

“You’ve heard everything I’ve thought?” If a wolf could grin, this one would be doing so right now. He was downright smirking at her.

“Pretty much. I really liked the ‘beautiful male’ thought, although less of the beautiful and more of the ruggedly handsome, please.”

Anna huffed and quickly stood up and stomped away from him and back toward the trees.

It didn’t matter how far away she got from the stupid wolf, though. She could still hear his laughter echoing in her head.